It really is painful, maybe the only reason we feel pain besides, in someway shape or form running our body's into something harder than us. Nearly every person thinks of themselves as important in some way, I guess it is a normal (don't argue the definition, i don't even know what it means...) course of matters, it is easy to become the epicenter of our own little universe and put ourselves up on a pedestal. Sure there is depression when one may feel worthless, but this is just a converse example: we only feel worthless because we picture ourselves on a pedestal, which doesn't exist, so we aren't on it.
Where I first heard the importance of losing self-importance
My yoga teacher told me to have no expectations. The feeling of self-importance seems to be an ego driven expectation of how others should treat us and what we should be capable of. Which of course leads to a perpetual let down; The feeling of anger because one does not get the treatement he/she deserves; Sorrow because others don't care for us as they "should." And on and on, I am certain I do not grasp all of the ways my ungodly importance affects my life.
Well I guess I am done talking about things I don't understand, and I am going to resume worrying about how I am going to build my self-image tomorrow, feel bad because no one returns my calls, and mope about the standard of living I wish I had. Why ME? Why ME of all people!!
Hey I just read ur blog and I realized that the general jist and tone of what ur saying is exactly what I am going through.I feel like I need some sorting out to do.I question the reason behind my existence.Questions of the underlying ego keep coming up.I think about how much importance I give myself.But I feel confused about how I would live without being important to myself.I have become very aware of the 'I's I use in my sentence.Which I am I refering to??I try to destroy the ego by being aware of it.But its so difficult to make it last.I feel like cutting myself off a lot nowdays.I ask if is anyone living the truth?N when my heart answers a NO,I feel like condemning myself and others.n I feel helpless.
ReplyDeleteThis thing is really chewing me up inside.I was wondering if I am psychotic or somthing but there's this book Im reading called 'The New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle which speaks a lot about whats in my head.Atleast now its good that I am not teh only psychotic around.
I here you. I've heard Eckhart Tolle is really good. To me having sorting out to do is a good thing, at least then it means we are recognizing we are mixed up inside. I was hoping this blog would help people realize that they are not alone in their feelings. If you feel inspired to post something let me know i am trying to open this up to as many people as i can.
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