A Troubled Mind

Whose mind is troubled? Well, what walks on four legs, in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night?



The Human Mind. The only thing that differs is our reaction to the pain in our lives. We really are not all so different, same earth, same species and all caught in the human experience, and I do not think there is any escaping that until the eagle finally takes us into his beak. Does anyone who is reading this feel themselves absolutely at home? Absolutely free? Or free one day and in chains the next? Who has felt their soul tortured simply on the whim of that oh so tyrannical mind? I know I am not absolutely free, I know I hold myself in bondage and yes, I do occasionally raise the whip. And yes my soul writhes in pain when that happens (why wouldn't it?). If you answered yes to any but the first question count yourself lucky because the first step on the path of freedom is to realize that their indeed chains around our ankles. And that our lives are not all they can be.



In Zen Buddhism they talk about the concept of non-attachment. To me it makes sense, I made those chains around my ankles, (and my soul and mind) by chaining myself to what more or less can be described as an idea of a permanent reality. The choice is attachment, or freedom; attachment seems to be where a lot of pain comes from. Attachments (if my experience of being alive is remotely like yours) are everywhere. Attachment to our perception of reality. Attachment to the things in our lives. Attachment to our perceptions of ourselves. Attachment to events in the past. Attachment to our dreams. So many attachments I sometimes forget to just live my life and let time unfold as it will. But if you want to know what hurts the most, it is when I am feeling bad because of some attachment that isn't going my way and then I become attached to the way I am feeling. Why me? My life sucks. Why do I have to feel like this? What I am coming to see now is: I am feeling this way because I am feeling this way. It is just an emotion (I say that with a grain of salt) my brain acting a certain way at a certain time and in actuality it is not me, but just an experience I am having in that particular moment. In turn it makes sense to enjoy that feeling because who knows? In the next moment I may not have the pleasure of feeling it.


Some final words of wisdom (or at least I think they are).

"You do not even start to consider the truth until everything is possible"
Adyashanti

"What is reality? Is it what you can touch and feel? If so all reality is is a series of chemical responses in your brain" -Morpheus

"If the solution hasn't been to look at yourself, how do you expect to find it anywhere else?"
-Immortal Technique

Pertinent Reading:

Zen Mind Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki
Or you can just watch the Matrix...

And Into the Mind Altering Uncomfort-Zone

"It pains me to say this, but pain is what made us" (1). Man, unlike other creatures has the ability to adapt, as opposed to just being able to evolve. If it is colder than our skin can buffer us against on its own, we put on clothes. But, we would never put on clothes unless we had a pressing reason to do so. This too seems like how it works in the mind. It is not until we have experiences outside the scope of our everyday experience that our mind grows. And with it our ability to live with the world.



As don Juan recommends we use the challenges and pain in our lives to push ourselves to impeccability in the way that we live. When faced with challenge we are forced to reach to the extremes of our ability and in essence become stronger human beings. Then, the mental place we were forced into in that particular situation can be translated into our everyday perception.



We have the ability to step outside of our comfort zone. More or less it is a choice we have to make. Am I going to explore the experience of being alive by pushing myself to the boundaries of my own existence, or would I rather push those experiences away and bury those feelings? Eventually we won't have the choice, each and every one of us will confront death and be forced to confront our life (or lack thereof). So instead of staying within my bubble of comfort and perception I strive to accpet the unknown into my life and realize death is always on my right ready to strike.

Go fast, then tele turn.

Progress, Success and

Where am I going? Where are we going? And what is any of it worth in the end? Because the end will come. The only thing I can be certain of is my certain demise.

To be successful, what a futile goal! It is not like it is going to last as the mind and the body rot in the earth. And what of going down in the history books? Now thats eternal life. And wouldn't that feel good to read about all of the good things you have done. Oh wait. But we get recognition in this lifetime too, and isn't it all flattering? You are right, I am truly great. But what if no one hears about what I did? Or worse yet, no one cares? Wait, does that mean my life is only worth what others perceive it to be? We have all seen what a speculative market did to our stock market this past year.

Hmmm... I guess yesterday was about a 3.5 for you, better luck tomorrow : )

Who Am I?

We are always comparing what we are with what we think we should be. This measuring of ourselves all the time against someone or something is one of the primary causes of conflict both internal and external. Now why is there any comparison at all? If you do not compare yourself with another you will be what you really are.
-Krishnamurti

A Letter to You

Hello Reader,
I have noticed in my very few years of existence as a human being in the early 21st century that we have all built on our ancestors and kept creating new things that would ensure that we stayed away from thinking about who we are and this in-turn has put us all into a vicious cycle that dis-allows us to get back to thinking about our core values as human brings. What we created as distractions in the first place have become the reason why we live. Distractions like money; institutions like family and society; and conveniences like civilizations have replaced the sole reasons to exist. We have slowly found ourselves adapted to this impure way of living and we simply blame them on other important reasons that were only created by us to keep ourselves busy. Technology, Business, metro political cities are all created only so that we quench out initial thirst of experiencing multiple realities and then eventually move on to figuring out those long lost ideas. Ideas that are complex because of their simplicity. Us, humans have stayed away from them cause of our laziness.
But we are so far away from it now that we have started calling those people who remind us about those initial ideas lunatics. We have slowly and sub-consciously shoved aside all the ideas of peace, harmony and brotherhood all because of our collective laziness.
The human beings have become lazy. They have because they can afford to. Their super-developed brains have made it so they don't even need to meet another soul to connect with them. And no they aren't using love, faith or trust to communicate long distance. they have figured out ways to send their voices across the globe to create the illusion of connection.
The reason behind my unsettled mind is that we have ignored this "issue" when it came up, every-single-time. And we continue to do so. And we will continue to do so for as long as it takes for somebody to stand up against this blur, effectively. I use the word effectively because i think that all the people who have used different methods have all been ineffective. This does not mean that all these tries are meaningless. Actually, one of these methods or some combined together is going to give that somebody the right and effective method. However, there is a huge loop-hole in this whole chain of thought. At least one major loop-hole.
Here it is.
One man is not the solution. When one man starts something the rest follow. That man no longer becomes the cause. everyone involved become the cause. so while we all go to work, school, life we should think to ourselves at least once a day "Am I doing the right thing?"
This will bring us to re-awaken that sub-conscious that is sleeping or should i say taking a nap. We can wake up and all it takes is a slap or a soft whisper.
OK. I guess the real loop-hole is this.
We don't realize that we are one. When one man stands up it means that we all have stood up.
And now all I want you, as a reader, to do is understand the pain that I am feeling in my legs. For I have stood up and am carrying that weight, everybody's weight. Only when the weight is shared can my legs rest. All I have to do is ask myself everyday " am I doing the right thing?" and I stay standing.
And dear reader, I want you to know that I really and truly love you. I hope that you will someday love, the same way I do.
शान्ति and ॐ
ME

Getting High On Rocks

Climbing to me is much more than just a mindless adrenaline rush, it's a way of life. My name is Hayden Kennedy and I have been lucky enough to find climbing. Climbing is my passion and every day that I am climbing I am completely psyched. To go through life without meaning is a wasted life. That meaning can be climbing, skiing, chess, reading, anything that gives you potent and happy life. When I am climbing all that is in my mind is the next foot hold or the next hand movement. That focus is what really attracts me to climbing. I love the feeling of being in the present and it is hard to have that feeling all the time. This past summer I was in Yosemite, California climbing for a month. Every day and all day was just climbing. My mind was only thinking about climbing and not what I was wearing or how I looked. Sometimes we tend to get caught up in the small things in life and they tear us to pieces. When I am climbing I have no prejudices towards anything or anyone, I am simply just moving up rock.

When it is all said and done there is nothing better than cut up hands, pumped arms and getting high on rocks.

It's a Lonely World

You can not even start to confront the truth until you realize that anything is a possibility. And which of us truly believes anything and everything is possible? The world as most of us know it is only a fraction of reality. In essence our own world, with that little voice in our heads and a flood of conceptions if not preconceptions of the way things are. And no one else is in your world. On the contrary, everyone is caught in the same personal struggle, their own mind, with no idea of what to do with their lives. I take this from personal experience, and maybe I'm wrong.



Do you take the the red pill and confront that fact that there is more to life than what you perceive on a regular basis? Or do you take the blue pill and choose life's distractions and simply get by? If you choose red, life is a war to find freedom. If you choose blue you deny the fact that life is an illusion, but the dream continues.

Warriors face extinction.